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Oh, hi, Danny. How are you? Hi, Tony. What can I do for you? Well, it's like this. I have to do a gig at the World Economic Forum and I haven't a clue what to say apart from, 'hey guys, how's it going, banker dudes?' And you want to talk about the Internet? Right on! Well, what else are your advisers saying? Well, Gordon's crew want me to talk about how Europe needs to liberalise, right, in order to experience the same dynamic and funky growth we're seeing in the UK. You know, abolish tariffs, bureaucracy, that kind of thing. So the red tape we're bringing in to strangle e-commerce at the behest of the EU would be a touchy subject. Yeah, right. Hmmm, let me think... I know! How about we talk about WAP? I really think that that kind of thing is inappropriate for a group of bankers. Huh? But it's the next hottest thing on the Internet. Ah, you don't mean Robin Cook's evening habits, then? No. Although I'm sure bankers have an interest in that sort of thing. True. So what is this WAP? Wireless Application Protocol. Good God, Danny, I pay you for more than that. What are we supposed to be applying for? No, no, Prime Minister. I mean Application as in program. You know, those little square things that you click on your computer screen? Well, I usually get Cherie to do all that. So what's that got to do with the Internet? Well, WAP is a way of getting Internet information over a mobile phone.For example, you can get news, stock quotes, TV schedules the lot, just by hitting a few keys on your keypad. Nice, if you like that sort of thing, I suppose. Well, people do, Prime Minister. Nokia sold out of the first shipment of its first WAP phone in a couple of days. And all the networks are getting into it (except One2One, which is crap, of course). Of course. But this'll be one of those American technologies like biotechnology that they want us to pay for, I suppose. Not at all: it's all home-grown. And because US networks are technologically way behind Europe, we'll have a good clear year or two to get an edge. Americans behind in technology? How so? Well, they liberalised and deregulated their phone industry, and no-one could agree on what mobile standards to use so they're lagging way behind. Whereas in Europe we have a slow but rigorous bureaucracy that defined all the standards years ago. Ah, best gloss over that bit. And, the best bit is... Yes? It's UK companies who're making the running, and one of the biggest UK mobile companies - Vodafone - is trying to take over Mannesman, the German mobile company. And you know how the Germans don't like external takeovers... So, bringing the subject of mobile phones up will really piss off the Germans? Yes, Prime Minister. Excellent. Let me double your salary... | ||||||
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